This Is Procrastination

I am currently a gremlin in a reversal of evolution. My room looks like a highly poetic hermit has moved into it. The floor is now entirely made up of mugs, biros and post it notes. Revision is setting in, hard. Over the last few weeks, I've watched teachers stop begging for essay to be handed in, and start drowning under small mountains of them. I've gone from being the student who often forgets homework (and usually does it badly) to the student who follows teachers around going "HAVE YOU MARKED THAT MOCK YET?! HAVE YOU?! DO IT NOW. LET ME WATCH."
I've found a website called Coffitivity which plays the noise of a coffee shop while you work, which is making me a little bit saner. My caffeine intake has gone down by half since the ladies who work the snack bar refused to sell me tea due to how wrecked my dinner card is. I quite like coffee shops, but tend to avoid them as much as possible due to how bloody expensive the tea is. In the 1920's, a cup of tea would usually cost you around 5d, which converts to around 45p in modern money. I realize that inflation rates are much different now, but I'm an English student, and I find counting hard. Even so, this is a drastic difference, when last time I was in Costa, a pot of tea (two small cups) cost £1.70. Even in Berlin where the tea was slightly wank, the it only cost around 80p. Hum hum hum. I would be grateful if the Government stopped coming up with silly new taxes for five minutes and instead capped the price of tea. I am poor and cannot afford it (unless I make a flask of it to carry around, but as if I'd ever be that organised.) 
I think my favorite change in school routine over the last few weeks, is how much the teachers are coping with our, frankly, awful language. In English today, it became acceptable to yell "This child is a goddamn bag of dicks" very early on. With the announcement of a timed mock, it is now fine to just scream "NO" for several minutes straight. I'm not sure if it's a mark that the teachers are just as frustrated as we are, or if they could, actually, possibly, be sad at us leaving. I like to think it''s a little bit of both. I know I'll miss them. The last week has been a series of "Right, how much cake do we want in our last lesson?" and plans for who's going to bring in Articulate. I've had the lady who helps me run LGBT society run across the front of school to give me a hug and tell me I have to come in after exams for "A real party. With biscuits."
It's all just getting very... end-y.

Moving Swiftly On

So I've finished the challenge and I didn't starve to death. My uncle owes me a fiver. I fully admit that I stayed up till midnight on Friday just so I could eat some cake. And yes, I realize that many people my age stay up much later than midnight on a Friday, but bugger them, I'll have good skin when I'm old. We raised £130 overall, which is so great. Feel free to keep donating, everything closes on the 30th of June, so there's a little way to go.
It's great to be able to eat normally again, although it's taking a little getting used to. Mum handed me a piece of chocolate earlier, and for a while I didn't know what to do with it. I had a very strong need to save it, and squirrel it away in case I needed it later. 

It's been a blissfully nice day, and I've spent most of it lounging in various garden, appreciating some real sunshine. For a while I attempted to revise outside, which didn't go too well.

Books do not make good pillows. The cats, at least, have been enjoying themselves, and spent most of the day treading on me in bid to find some nice shade.

I also got to go and see the lovely Henning Wehn tonight, a rather fab German stand up comedian  He is part of my effort to see everyone who has ever appeared on a BBC, left wing, news based, comedy panel show. He was very good. Although I found it interesting that the audience roared with laughter through joked about holocaust denial and racism  but as soon as he pretended to cry, everyone got a bit awkward. I think this proves that the British can cope with offensiveness quite well, but we shut down at the first sign of emotion.

Nearly The End Day 4: Below The Line

There's one day left and I'd happily kill a man for a banana.
I find it interesting that I haven't really craved chocolate at all this week, it's been things like cheese, and fruit, and cereal. Normal, basic stuff. What I'd really like to make tomorrow is a north American fruit parfait, with strawberries, banana and vanilla yogurt. 
One day left. Stephie is making red velvet cake for English, and I shall be taking my slice home, and then laughing and smearing it into my face at midnight. 
Fun times. 
It's been a good day. It's been warm and lovely, so we sat outside and I got a good grade on one of my mock exams. 
Good day.

Halfway There, Day 3: Below The Line

I went shopping today. At nine in the evening to the local Coop, to see if there was anything they were trying to get rid of before it went past it's sell by date. I had 49p left, out of my original five pounds. I could have bought one Muller yogurt (27p) or a can of baked beans (42p) or a second jar of jam (35p). In the end I think I chose wisely. I used 44p.

I don't really know what to do with them. Before I would have gobbled the whole lot down in about six seconds, but now all I can think is ihavebiscuitsihavebiscuitsihavebiscuits. They're great. After staring at the for about half an hour, I finally had four, with a cup of tea. It was better than being given a foot massage by God. But now I only have two days left, and suddenly it all seems quite easy. There's not much time left, it's the home stretch. School is still hard, but now I can take custard creams along with my jam sandwiches along with my carrot sticks, and it seems rather more doable. I know I'll be able to come home to tea and biscuits, and it all seems rather more inviting. I have plenty of porridge oats and pasta left, and enough for two days kidney beans and sweetcorn. There's also quite a staggering amount of soup, for three carrots, two parsnips, a turnip and an onion. This is okay, I can do this. I have biscuits. And jam.

I have decided I'm not going to my after school Drama lesson tomorrow. Even with biscuits  it just all seems too much. Too long a day on a tiny lunch. The evenings are fine, there's loads then. It's just the rest of the day which is exhausting. The monotony of having the same food every single day yet hasn't hit - I think I've been too busy going Food! Gimmiegimmiegimmie! to notice that it's the same thing I had the day before, and the day before that. I'm far too busy being grateful. And growling at anyone who comes within five feet of any pans I'm using (sorry Mum). 

I found out this morning that we have a bank holiday on Monday, which means that this weekend will be a solid, three day cake fest. I plan on going into town, and burning myself up in a very expensive coffee shop, laughing manically, then sobbing into a mocha and going home to desperately make more porridge. 

Please carry on donating, we're at £125 at the moment, and it would be great if we could make it to £200 by the end of the week. 
Many thanks, see you tomorrow!

PS I added a new blog to my blogroll, my lovely friend Jojo, a very wonderful lady spoon carver. (She's a lady who carves spoons, not someone who carves lady spoons.)

End Of Day 2: Below The Line

So it's the end of day 2, and we've hit our target! As of eight o'clock Tuesday evening, there is £110 in the sponsorship pot. As a result, I've raised the target to £200, since we hit the first target so quickly, I think we'll be in with a chance of making this one.
It's been an okay day, I felt pretty good when I woke up, and had my porridge and tea. Around ten, elevenish I was getting quite tired and peckish, so had a quarter of a jam sandwich at  morning break and the remaining quarter in the late afternoon. For lunch I had 1.5 jam sandwiches and some carrot sticks. 
I have to say that the afternoon kinda sucked, I was extremely tired and a couple of jam sandwiches isn't really enough to keep you going through a school day. It's also a bit rubbish when everyone around you is eating cake and big mugs of hot chocolate. I have a very intense craving for cheese. And cake. Mostly the cake. Much of this seems to be quite psychological - even though I'm having plenty to eat, it ain't great knowing that I can't have a nice cup of tea or a snack when I get home. 
I had a portion of soup and some of the pasta, again with sauce and sweetcorn, for dinner. I mixed some of the kidney beans into the soup to make it go a little further. 
Mum and I are considering going to Morrisons on Thursday evening to try and pick up anything going for under 50p before it hits it's sell by date. I may have cake after all.
But now, it is half eight and I finally get another cup of tea, then bath, porridge and bed.
It could be worse.
Please carry on donating, we're doing so well so far!

Morning; Day 2

Morning all!
Woke up to have Mum screaming "Choose your carrot!" in a slightly geordie, slightly Scottish accent at me, while I tried to make my lunch without getting any jam in my eyes.
Feeling much better about the whole thing this morning, after the success of yesterday. Wasn't hungry when I woke up, and did't get a single cat hair in my porridge! (There was one in my tea, though.)
I feel very guilty every time I think I'm hungry, because I know there are so many people out there who are an awful lot more hungry than me. I at least have the power to stop my own. Which reminds me, thank you so much for the donations last night! We're half way to my target now, although I did set it deliberately low (hint hint).
Many thanks!

The End Of Day 1

It's bedtime, and I've just had my evening mug of tea and bowl of porridge. I had some milk left over from my daily ration, so decided it would be better to use it than go to bed hungry. It's been easier than I thought it would be so far, if not as easy as I'd like. The gap between getting home from school and waiting for dinner was peckish making, but I have my wonderful jam. I have 49p left of my budget, and I'm considering using it to buy extra jam rations.
We used the veg pot to make a massive vat of soup. Pretty basic, chop everything up, fry it, and blend.

So we freeze half of it, and whack it out for dinner. Tonight I had pasta, with sauce and sweetcorn. It was oddly worth waiting for. I had a small amount of jam for pudding.

One day down, four to go. Thank you so much to everyone who's donated so far, it means a lot. Please carry on donating, I'm aiming for £100 by Friday.

PS Here's some photo's of Bonnie Wright with some breakfast.

Going Below The Line

So most people have found out by now that I'm doing the Below The Line Challenge this week, although no one really knows what that is. It's a fundraising event, where people get sponsored to live for five days on £5 worth of food. That gives you £1 of food a day, or 33p a meal. I'm doing my week to raise money for Save The Children, if you want to sponsor me then you can do here. The reason why £1 is set as the amount per day is because that is the "technical" poverty line - to be living on $1.25 a day - or £1. However, for me (and most other people doing the challenge) that amount is only for food. For people actually living in poverty, that pound has to cover heating, water, housing, education, transport. I'm finding it hard enough as it is.
I did my Big Shop on Sunday with Mum (she's the organised one). This is what I have bought.

With any luck, that food will get me though till midnight on Friday. I know looking at it, it seems like quite a lot, but in reality it feels like an awful lot less. It's been tough, and it's only the first day. It's been odd knowing that I probably won't have a full meal when I get home. I usually have a snack when I get home from school - today that was a quarter tea spoon of jam and some carrot sticks that I saved from lunch, because I was paranoid I might need them later.  I can still have tea but not with sugar, and I have to measure out how much milk I'm using. And even so, I'm enjoying it. I think.

To last till Friday I have:

1. A loaf of wholemeal bread
2. A jar of strawberry jam
3. A can of sweetcorn
4. A can of kidney beans
5. A 'stew pack' containing carrots, parsnips, an onion and a turnip (This was the most expensive item I've bought; £1.50)
6. A jar of pasta sauce
7. A carton of UHT milk
8. A bag of pasta
9. A bag of porridge oats
10. A box of 80 tea bags

I think it'll go okay. For breakfast this morning I had a cup of tea and porridge with a spoonful of jam (same as Bonnie Wright - campaign ambassador). For lunch, two jam sandwiches and some carrot sticks, some of which I still haven't had the heart to eat. Later I'll be making a batch of soup to eat later in the week, and hopefully be having some pasta. Wish me luck, Starlings x

Some useful links:

My sponsorship page

More information on the challenge

Information on Save The Children

A video from Charlieissocoollike about the charity and the IF campaign

Shut Up

New thing
I hate all teenage fangirls
Well, not a new thing, quite a few of them are dicks anyway. But usually it's the Sherlock, or Doctor Who fandoms that get on my tits. I thought the Merlin fandom was better than this.
See, Colin Morgan (who plays the lead in Merlin, if you've been living under a rock) is currently the The Globes production of The Tempest, playing Ariel alongside Roger Allam's Prospero. So far, I haven't heard a single word about his performance, even though he's playing the lead. All I've seen online so far has been teenage girls screeching about Colin, and how much they adored his performance.
I probably wouldn't mind so much if anyone actually put forward a decent write up of his acting or how he interpreted the script, but mostly it's just... well, swooning.  One which throughly made me want to put pens in my eyes said (and I quote); "he was stood at the front of the stage shouting in Shakespeare..."  
You do realize that William Shakespeare wrote in English, right? It's not a different language. All words that we know and use now. Idiot. The rest of the 'article' (I use the term loosely) was dedicated to how Colin held eye contact with the writer for a few seconds. Of course he sodding did. He's an actor. When you're on stage, you hold the audience's gaze. It's how you make sure they're playing attention. It's his job.
Roughly three seconds ago, I saw a set of photos taken of Colin during a tech rehearsal. In the description  the poster had mentioned that there was a sign outside asking for photos not to be taken, but she took them anyway. RE, if you take photos, you are not doing the wider world a service, you are just being highly disrespectful to some very hard working people.
I'm sure Colin knew his would happen, he knows about the fandom and he's not stupid. But he doesn't deserve this. Fair enough, tell him you enjoyed Merlin, but let him know you enjoyed The Tempest as well. 
And please stop acting like Shakespeare is so impossible to understand.
Rant over.

This post dedicated to Nikki, who thought all fangirls were annoying, even when she was one. It turns out you were right.

Oh Good God, Is That Summer?

It’s been getting warm. Like, warm enough to go outside, which I’ve started doing voluntarily. I don’t think I’ve gone outside willingly since last March, the last time it was actually warm. We had a fire drill today, and I think it was the first time ever that no one was wearing gloves. Well, I say fire drill. I hope it was a drill. It would be awkward to find out it’s actually been warm just because my school was burning down. 
I bought a pair of walking boots last week, in an attempt to make myself leave the cave of Undermyduvet, and so far it’s been working alarmingly well. I have been for a walk every night this week, mostly down by my local river, which has been hilarious. With the rise of the warm weather, the wildlife has finally come out of hibernation, and it’s been a joy to watch. There’s the usual crowd of ducks, moorhens, coots, and the surprisingly violent trout (Don’t throw bread in the river while all of them are around. The fish bite the ducks feet to get more.) 
There’s a pair of swans that come back every year to have babies, and the lady swan is currently sat happily on her nest on the island, while her husband chases down walkers to try and get food. Swans are essentially very pretty muggers. I’ve seen him follow a small family for almost half a mile down the river, just because he knew they had a loaf of Hovis with them. 

The frogs arrived yesterday, and I think it’s a pretty high chance they have come as a plague from God to tell us that Gangnam Style really needs to stop now. There are quite a lot of them. It’s become a habit to walk down by the river and scoop any frogs out of the path and back into the water, in case they get trodden on. They are adorable, and make the sound of kittens crying. Although it does get very tiring trying to explain to them that interspecies threesomes with toads probably won’t work. Especially because they usually just run away. 

I think the finest specimen to reappear so far has been the rock climbers. You can usually find them hanging around in groups of around four or five underneath cliff faces, try and failing to look busy. If you’re lucky you may witness one actually adventure up the rock face to build a web made from a thick, rope like fibre. They can be easily identified by their bright coats, long fur, and public school accents.